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So on the first saturday of the Millenium he toddled off to the Grafton with his two buddies Orson the oxpecker and Willy the wolverine who was a weasley scumbag, on the way they had a quicky in the Victoria lodge up Tuebrook were they run into a Bar fly well actually a bar bug called Charlie the cockchafer, know Charlie was very noizy as he supped his froth but he told the boys one thing when they found love they would never wander, Ray would have none of this so he biffed Charlie and bragged of his 123 Partners in the last year this impressed Willy and Orson so they headed to the Grafton in awe of Rays tales. So at the Grafton they arrived what joy as they piad in and toddled off to Grannies corner for some kinky kopping and disease getting action then a beautiful young (well 45 but it is the grafton) Gymnure headed across the dancefloor and whenever she was asked to dance she would waft it away with her scaly tail, "whats that" asked Ray with what seemed like emotion within his eyes, "Its a bleeding half hedgehog, half shrew half whore creature ( in the animal world most things have three halves.) Ray walked in her direction and began to sing a song from south pacific sadly being half bevved it came out "scum implanted heavin' " instead of the more well known Some enchanted evening, this was hardly the most romantic line Gillian the Gymnure had ever heard, but it seemed to do the trick and soon the Taxi was hailed as Ray and Gymnure headed back to Bootle. Next morning Ray decided to go and see Gillian, something he'd never done before visit an ex lover more than once so he got the 61 from Old swan to Bootle and knocked at her door, where to his amazement a Handsome Gryfalcon opened the door "you alrite lik' " asked this beautiful bird "Is Gill in " said Ray, "no and i am her huzbund lik' so piss off or i'll do ya in" he said, in terror ray fled and jumped on the first bus he could get which sadly took him to Kirkdale so he had to jump another bus before getting home to Orson who sat by the telly "See your Tart" asked an enquiring Orson. "No shes married" said Ray "Good you got rid of her easy" said an unsympathetic Orson "I loved her i shall never have another, till next Grafton night at least!" The moral to this story is no matter how thick skinned you are a girl will still bring you down. The end |
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